These Ten Things I love about Boo:

1. No matter what I want to do, he is game – even if I were to propose jet skiing.


2. He is always kind, gentle, and has a soft voice.


3. Every time I see him, it is clear to me that he has thought about me – evidenced by the movies and cds that he makes for me.


4. His smile – his ever present smile.


5. He is always available to me for fixing my computer issues.


6. He demonstrates in a billion ways his caring for my wellbeing.


7. He thinks of my pleasure before his – always……


8. When he kisses me, it is with eyes wide open, so that he can see into my soul as I see into his.


9. He is kind and loving to my dogs, even when they are being very annoying because they are afraid of thunder and want to sit in my lap.


10. This one must remain mine and mine alone…..

For many years, many years ago, I worked for Home Depot. I started as a cashier. Now, you probably already know this: many items in a home improvement center are rather tough to tag with UPC labels. Also, this was in the UPC label infancy, it was THAT long ago....
So my sister (Mimi) was mentioning the double entendre sort of names given to many items in such establishments. Which reminded me of this little gem:
We were given these books with SKU's for products that were not marked but I was still pretty wet behind the ears. I had only been there a very short time. A man came through with a cart load of sprinkler stuff and plumbing stuff. I got to one item and could not figure it out. I asked the man what it was and called plumbing.
"Plumbing"
While holding the item up in front of me, and with the man customer looking right at me, and with a straight face I said, " I have a six inch brown nipple".
"Well then, would you like to go out with me?" was the response.
Of course, I now was staring into the face of the customer with that horrid second of realization of what I had just said. Of course, customer was nearly apoplectic trying to keep from exploding. And then, it goes without saying, we all did.

The Pella guy and I set to paper what I want. The Pella guy is cute and knowledgeable. I like Pella windows. I like them just fine. I am getting windows replaced in my bedroom and one in the living room. The bedroom and living room are on the west side of the house. The sun bakes those two rooms day in, day out. The expense to keep the temp at a balmy meat hanging temperature for this old premenopausal woman is enormous. I am hoping that the insulated high tech Pella windows will help cut down on that heat transfer. The windows are due on September 30th. It will be a race to see which happens first, fence or windows.

On the fence front, thank you for all of your support and good wishes. The fence guy and I spoke last night and all is resolved and forgiven. I would much rather have an amicable relationship with my neighbors than to feel the way about him that I have been feeling. The solution is that to verify the property line, my fence installers will measure from my house. If what the survey says is *still* accurate, (that the fence has not been moved in the process of replacing panels and posts), then I will have my new fence installed abutting the existing fence. This will put my new fence at least four inches into my property and no one will ever have any rights to it but me. Then I will leave the existing wood fence up on his side and he can paint it pink with yellow stripes for all I care.

The kitchen will probably be the last thing - but I do believe that HD might be padding the time line on the side of conservative. They told me to anticipate an 8 week delivery time for the cabinets. Perhaps they may come in sooner. The interesting part is that neither of the other two companies have YET to call to see when they can bring by their version of what I should do. Perhaps by the time the kitchen is in, I will hear from them. Maybe because it is such a little project they are too important to deal with it. Who knew?

AND last night I dreamed of skunk again. Now, I am beginning to think of skunk as my personal little messenger of respect. When the going gets tough, and skunk shows up, you can be sure that I am not being treated with respect.... sometimes by myself, sometimes by others. Skunk serves as a heads up reminder to be respectful and to treat myself respectfully.

There seems to be some thought afoot that I have lost my marbles. This conclusion was reached by those who live nearby and who are second guessing each and every decision that I make regarding my home and property. I have had well meaning neighbors suggest that I should refinish the floors, don't refinish the floors. Get new furniture. No, keep the furniture, you have dogs. Reface the cabinets rather than get a new kitchen.

I have not made any major improvements in about 10 years. My kitchen sink is about to fall to the floor because the countertop is old and rotting away. The kitchen is inefficient. The windows are inefficient. The fence is inefficient. Guess what! I am replacing those items after careful research. AND as long as I am the one writing the checks, I get to pick the material, the location, the colors and the installation dates. So there.

I would NEVER dream of asking a neighbor if they had carefully considered their budget when they told me of a project. It is not anyone's business to do so. If I were a man would they ask? I think not.

Furthermore, if I went on a modest vacation every year (I have not in the past 10 years) and spent say a thousand dollars, that 10 grand would be gone and I would have some really nice memories to show for it. IF I choose to put that 10K into my house, in 10 years, I will still have the kitchen, the windows, and the fence. So what gives??? I actually had someone close to me ask last night if it would not be better to spread out these projects over several months.... and I have actually had a neighbor ask if I could "afford" to have these things done. I am still scratching my head.

Here's the rub. Most of my friends and relations (nod to Pooh) consider me intelligent. So why would they have the temerity to question whether I make intelligent choices with regard to home improvements?

My theory is that I was granted one life, and I get to make the decisions regarding that one, and only that one. Until someone else is paying my bills, they don't have the privilege of questioning me on how or when I pay to have things done to my home! It seems I have some well meaning friends who fear that I have fallene into crack den or something. I just am scratching my head at the wonder of it all. To be sure, my fence is falling in around me. This is a major liability. I have a pool and I have dogs. Either someone falls into the pool or someone releases a dog, and the end result is heartache for me. So, armed with my darling niece's professional fence advice, I went shopping for fence. I have limited ability to repair fence. Now, when my beloved husband was alive, fence was not an issue. If a panel or part of a panel needed repair, he did it. Quickly, efficiently, and inexpensively. My contribution to the ongoing fence project was my time at Home Depot (11 years or so) afforded me the chance to buy fence that a painter had ruined with overspray for $1.50 per panel. I bought all that was available. It carried us for many years.

Now - I must ask and pay for someone else to fix the fence. I want it done once and for all. I don't want to have to worry anymore about fence issues. Yes, pvc is expensive on the front end. But to be sure, the several thousand is a drop in the bucket compared to my liability. So I do not appreciate anyone second guessing my fence decision. Thank you very much.

NEXT - kitchen - to be continued.

1. Things with Heni and I are fine, thank you. We will see each other in the morning sometime for a walk on the beach (stress reduction for moi) and pho experiment #2.


2. Fence - Now THERE is an issue. I have contracted with a company. Made a payment. All made better with dear neice's advice. If only she and her hubby lived closer, they could have done the fence. It was not feasible. But she educated me about what to ask and I am grateful. NOW I have to deal with testosterone challenged neighbor who wants to plaster wood up against my PVC fence..... Tomorrow is another day. Monday is better. I will have to pay again, to prove where my land ends and his begins. Let me tell you here and now. I am really tired. I am about to get my Honza sword from the dry cleaners. IF I pay dime one, and I am right, I am going to take him to small claims court to recoup my losses. Now he has done it. I have the technology. I can do this.


3. The Bitchin' Kitchen - Let me hear you shout. I have requested from several "kitchen" people. To date, Home Depot is the ONLY one to conceive a design and quote me a price. Guess what - after working there for 11 years, and knowing how one can fight until you win, I went with the HD design. Of course, I have no other choice what with NO ONE else ponying UP with an alternative. On the inside, HD said, "it will take X amount of time". The others say OH, can do in 3 weeks. YEAH right! You didn't EVEN get me a drawing. With regard to HD, I have a budget. I went over budget by twenty one cents. You heard it here. TWENTY ONE cents. Now, I cannot possibly fit a dishwasher here. Nor can I see me USING one, what with having antique china and hand thrown pottery and silver and all. So, I take no issue on what I spent on the sink. AND I had to, by code, get a nifty golifty microwave with tuck and roll upholstery. BUT - I got a Jetson's type nuker - new wave - second oven. AND I don't EVEN feel badly about it. In short, due to space constraints, I got all the bells and whistles to make the kitchen more efficient. I have only so much room and I spent the money on those areas that will mean the most to me, namely the sink and the second oven. The rest is oh so very basic but good construction with some cool features. It will be about the middle of October before I see any more progress. Stay tuned.


4. Windows - intend to replace some leaky old double hung sash windows with Pella insulated ones. Last months energy bill was scary. Could have a pair of Manolo Blahniks with the a/c that escapes from this leaky old house.

AND there you have the update on the house of Pudlin. Lacy the Brillo pad, rat poison, counter surfer, panty whore girl is doing well, gratefully. The other two are as usual, fine. I think the rats are gone. I want it to be cooler soon. And the Zen lesson in all of this is probably "go to bed"

Maybe because I live in Florida and maybe because I am premenopausal and maybe I am just tired of the heat, but I am thinking about fall. Autumn, the onset of cool weather, changes in the leaves (hey, I can look at pictures!) and apple cider.
I long to sit on my front porch again. In the stillness of summer it is simply too hot. I want to wear a sweater, make soup, bake a pie, start a quilt. All activities that would cause someone to consider Baker acting you if you were to perform them in August in Florida.

In order to speed things up, I have begun making cards for mailing in the coming month. Rosh Hashana and Yom Kippur are weeks away. I must get busy with preparations for that. Oh, and while on the subject, October is breast cancer awareness month. So, there are things to do to prepare for that as well. Grandson Justin's birthday is October 1. Daughter is October 11. My beloved mother, gone now, celebrated her birthday September 18th. There must be some way to commemorate that day. And there is Joseph's Yarzheit coming up - five years - October 26th. Surely must be honored.

So I have begun, albeit barely - with a card and a couple of tags to put on who knows what. Fall theme, pumpkins and fall colors and such. I have dragged out the fall decorations from the attic (and thankfully there were no rat corpses) and begun to place them around the house. Yes, I am pushing it, what with it being August and all.... but I am hot, and tired of summer. I want fall. I want fires in my fireplace outdoors and I want to make s'mores with the grandkids. I want to watch football games just because it is an excuse to make big pots of chili and have friends whooping for the Bucs. I want the guady colors of the season until I could barf and then fade to the cool blues and silvers of Hannukah.

Went to an auction tonight - first for me. I scored a Flow Blue bowl for $10 bucks. Yeeee Haaa.

I am pretty sure that the rodentia problem is no more. The pro- poison  should have kicked in while I was in Orlando with sister dealing with a diffenet species of rat, and there you have it. Last night was peaceful. Now, the puds get all Uma if something is moving behind a wall or a drawer front. They slept well. Translation is that I slept well.

When you live in a neighborhood like this you can expect termite swarming. I have seen evidence. MY whole day was taken up by the termite guy drilling and filling and spraying. My take is that tenting is so dreadful to the environment and I would have spent several days packing food and medications. No good answer here.

To wrap it, I am in a good place. I can pay those what I need to to take care of the problems. I am smart enough to do the math and get educated about what might need to be done. For all of this, I am very very very grateful.

To the uninitiated, I share with you the following intimate details: we of the two legged variety in the House of Pudlin like to wear sexy, scanty, scandalous and indeedy shocking lingerie.

In order to house same, I had a set of drawers (no pun intended) built in on one end of the garret. This houses much in the way of panties, bras, hosiery and jammies in any number of incarnations.

Mostly, it is for me. When the going gets tough, I know that underneath it all, I am wearing something absolutely fabulous. Now my secret is not so secret, and my name has never been Victoria. I have been known to set off metal detectors in court rooms with vintage garter belts. That is another story.

You can call me what you will, you can do to me what you can, but in the event of fire or accident, I remain certain that the emergency crew will step back and say "well now, she is styling under it all, can I have an Amen!" They may have to cut some stuff loose. But they will try like the devil to avoid that. Likely they will keep "souveniers."

Here is the rub. I got into my "jammies" tonight. I will resist telling you what they weigh (or not) and there was this goofy care tag - it said... hand wash in cold. Do not bleach (duh black nylon!) Here is the best part... nearly peed them reading it " warm iron if needed". BWaahhhaaaahaaha I assure you that I could MAIL this entire ensemble to you first class and you would not have to pay any postage due. Can you now envision me IRONING it????? Is there an iron in existence that could POTENTIALLY iron it??? I have serious doubts!!!!

In the house of Pudlin, much has happened today.

1. I signed a contract on the new fence and gave him a deposit.


2. The guys came by to clear out the debris along the fenceline.


3. No rats in my dresser unless they buy a jig saw at Home Depot and cut through the new and improved back.


4. Window guy coming Monday to finalize stuff.


5. Kitchen guy measured to see if the HD plans would really work. I think that I will buy the cabinets through HD and use my Skip guy to install.

And after all of that, Henry arrived looking all spiffy in his new hawaiian shirt and we went to the International Mall in Tampa. Lord and Taylor, Nordhams, Needless Markup! SHOES!!!! Everywhere shoes. I saw a pair of Manolo Blahniks for $1,250.00. I figure I can have 4 pairs of shoes or a fence. Most shoes cost more than my windows. In ten years, I will still have my windows, but the shoes - not so much. But I do view shoes as an art form, and I do truly love looking at them.

Henry had a really cool coupon for a buy one get one free entree at a place called the Bamboo Club, Asian Bistro. We had the duck and a beef dish and shared. VERY good. The duck was wonderful. But not as tasty as the duck we get at the Asian market on weekends. That duck might be greasier, but sure is more flavorful. This duck tasted like it had been heavily coated in five spice powder.

We came back here in a very heavy rainstorm to watch "Lost in Translation" which was lost to both of us. Maybe we are just not hip anymore. I dunno. But we talked and snuggled and otherwise had a wonderful time. It has been two wonderful months since the Boo and I met that first time. Things just keep getting better.

And in other news, it seems that Lacy is not a poodle after all. She apparently is a goat. I deduced this based on her proclivity for eating things that most would find distastful. I have just removed from her possession a Brillo pad. Yes, she was eating a brillo pad.

Note to self: have cabinets child proofed with protective locks on them.

Ahhhhh! It is Wednesday in the House of Pudlin. On today's itinerary, there is a guy coming to measure the kitchen (again) to be sure that the plan in place really will work. Johnny the remarkable is going to be here to close in the back of that dresser that used to be a rat condominium. AND it is Heni's day off. YIPPEE!!! I have big plans to make him very aware of how much I appreciate him....................

I have a very strong feeling that things are soon to come together with regard to the remaining portion of my civil action pending. I am slated to be deposed again September 9th. As you can see, since I am writing this at 6am, it weighs heavily on my mind. The hope in the mind of the opposing counsel is that I will have gotten married, or paln to marry before we go to trial. They will ask about my relationship status and I will answer. Then they will contact Henry. They will ask him the same questions. We will have the same answers. But my internal radar is indicating that they will settle prior to trial. That is fine by me.

In other news, I am renewing my dedication to getting that book written. A couple of pages a day. Period. No excuses. Just as every day I brush and floss, and shower and dress, I write two pages. That is it. Part of the daily routine. Just like getting up too early and going back to bed.

After a short trip, I am home. Nuff said. I wrote this big long essay and hit post and it went away.

I am wayyyy too tired to try to reinvent THAT wheel.

WAY back when, there were a bunch of us on M-Blog. We formed a coalition of the secret inner sanctum of the Ya Ya Bloggerhood. We liked many of the features of Mblog. Specifically, one of my personal favorites was that the comments were aligned along the edge of the blog post so that you could see a running dialogue. Then the day came that MBlog got all funky and the defibrillator sprocket jammed the possomoter and it all came to a crashing halt. At which point, the exodus began. We rolled up our scrolls of archives and wandered across the desert landscape until we encountered this oasis. At first, it was a harsh and unforgiving climate to we uninitiated. But we hung together and soon we were able to maneuver the new terrain pretty well. Subsequently we formed new alliances. A new community was expanded upon. But there are always hiccups and there are going to be whereever we go. So for now, I intend to stick with tblog. Now, I am a paying customer. But I don't plan to complain because dealing with the complaints will take time away from fixing the problem. It is my opinion that they are probably snatching themselves bald trying to fix these problems. So for one, I am going to just be patient and back up any important posts on my hard drive (that is a Heni idea - whose time has come). I don't want to lose any of my new friends (Badaunt, SatoriSam, TorryGirl, Audie) to other blog sites. In the past, those things have been a dissappointment. I have lost touch with a number of people that I value over technical difficulties. I don't like that. So please, if you can, be patient with Rocky and company. I am certainly going to try to be.

My attics and shed have been loaded with rat poison provided by a professional pest control service. They showed me the numerous places and the evidence of the points of entry. The man said that there are about 6 to 20 rats in a pack. He also said that they can produce a litter every 21 days and that there are about 20 of them to each one of us. So, not so much do I feel badly about not using Have a Heart traps. I have seen two rats so far - BOTH IN MY DRAWERS. Now, I am all about live and let live, but there is a line in the sand. That line is crossing over into my living area. I didn't even get too indignant when I knew that they were hanging around in the laundry room cabinet. I didn't like it, but I didn't go all Uma on their stringy tails either.

Yesterday, I went all Uma when the nice handyman found another one in my sweater drawers. This dresser is built in. Because of that, it is accessible from the back and that is the point of entry. Seems that they are using my plumbing as a little rat interstate to the third floor bedroom. Make that past tense. I called in the cavalry. Together, they toured the property and determined which locations to close up and which to leave open for the 2 weeks that it will take to erradicate the problem once and for all.

This new and improved attack has allowed me to toss all the poison that posed a risk to the dogs. The new poison packs are deep in the attic where no dogs have a chance to visit. They are also deep in the sheds. Now in a couple of weeks those will be cleared out as well. Another project on my seemingly neverending list.

Lacy seems to be fine. I am so grateful, and so grateful for all of the calls and letters from those who know Lacy and were concerned. There certainly is a lesson to be learned from Lacy's exposure to rat poison. But I do not think that using Have a Heart traps is the answer in this application.

We have a variety of rats here in Florida that are called Roof Rats or Fruit rats. They are able to climb rather like Spiderman. They get in attics like mine through soffits and vents and then they set up housekeeping. In this instance, they are able to access a built in dresser from the back. They have easy access to all the electrical wiring. This stuff they find to be a delicacy. I know because I had one set up shop in a stove's insulation one time. When we finally got it out (by turning on the broiler until he jumped ship) we took apart the stove. The insulation on the electrical starters on this gas stove were bare from rats eating them. So to "newbie" I offer gratitude for expressing your comments and opinion, and regrets that you lacked the courage to let me know who you are so that there could potentially be a discussion. To be sure, I am not going to set traps of any kind and then have to remove the rats, dead or alive. I would like to do all that I can to reduce the rat population as much as possible. I have considered putting a couple of snakes in the attic. Might, if it did not get so dang hot up there. Thought about getting an outside cat, don't know how to keep a cat from jumping ship. I have hired a tree service to remove the trees providing access, and had 3 handymen out to look at the problem. Only ONE is willing to do what is necessary. Now, I do not go out of my way to kill the rats in the outside world. But when they invade my sweater drawer, all bets are off. You can be sure that I will go all Uma on them.

Of this I remain convinced: If my dearest Henry de Boo did not really exist, I would have dreamed up Heni. How could it be any other way? He is the epitome of all that I would hope for.
How do you know for certain that I did not create him out of desperation, desire, wanting, craving, and just generally needing a foil for my wants, needs, desires. How do you know?

You can relax. He is. He exists. His existence is validated and proven by the meals taken with sister. I could make up a person, but I could not conjure up a person that would fool sister if s/he did not really sit across table eating with chopsticks.

 However, that said, truly if he were not here now, I would have dreamt him up. But I would not have known to be so clever as to dream him in his particular incarnation. That part was pure genius. To put him in the person of a very special, elegant, eloquent, sensual, and sublime being that he is. That came as a surprise. There is a Zen teaching here. I do not know what it is. I know only this: my life before I was gifted with Heni was good. My life now that I have been gifted with Heni is so very good.

It seems that I am very fortunate to have someone watching over me to nudge me when my dog is busy ingesting rat poison. It seems that I got her to the vet's office in a timely fashion and that she will be alright. There could be residual effects for up to 10 days. But, she sure feels better today than she did yesterday. Thanks to all who sent words of encouragement and prayer. It means a lot to me. And please, take the time to make a note of the local poison control center in your area. AND if you do find that you have to resort to rat poison, save the packaging! Different brands have different active ingredients and the veterinarian or physician needs to know how to treat.

I wrote of this earlier, and it seems to have dissappeared. Lacy nearly died today. Lacy, my black standard poodle girl ate rat poison.

I have been fighting the rat problem now for too long. Recently (3 weeks ago) I opened a drawer in my built in dresser and there was a rat in my sweaters. This is intolerable. I do not put up with rodentia in my bureaus. That is the line. Now, I live in Florida and there are fruit trees. They attract rats. It is a given.

I called in several "handymen" listed in the telephone book. I asked for help. I knew that they were getting in through two places in the attic that needed hardware cloth on the inside of louvers. Now, in the back Joseph had planted cudzu transplanted from Georgia. He was so proud that it took root. In the front, a cherry tree that was supposed to get 5 or 6 feet tall. At 15 feet, it provided easy stairway for rats.

It got chopped down yesterday. Cost me $400.00 for that and removal of cudzu and other trimming to keep the rats out. In the interim, I had put rat poison in the attic, my drawers, the laundry room and under the sink.

The phone rang today and I left a cabinet door open for a few minutes and as a result nearly lost my Lacy. When I came back, 6 squares of poison were gone and her snoot was in that cabinet. I made a call to the vet, threw her in the car and off we went. They pumped her full of morphine, made her puke, and then put her under anesthesia. They pumped her stomach (they call it lavage) and added activated charcoal. Because I got it in time, she may be ok.

It could have been way worse.

I nearly lost my baby girl today. Please let this be a lesson to all of us. Please! Keep the number for poison control close by, along with other emergency numbers. Keep packaging for poisons so that you don't have to do what I did, making a run to the store to buy more of what is killing your babies.

Keep your house in good repair so that you don't have to resort to poison. Tomorrow I buy glue traps. AND thanks to Henry, on Monday the handyman states he will seal up the entryways.

Lacy is not feeling great. She is drinking lots of water and wants lots of tummy rubs. I am not feeling great. I could have lost her easily. This negates our Epcot plans. It was expensive. I am grateful for a number of things. Namely, I nearly caught her at the moment of ingestion and that I could afford the freight. That she will likely be ok. There is a Zen lesson in this.

In the beginning of June, I began a curious correspondence with someone through email. Almost from the start, I realized that this was no ordinary email volley, for this person wrote, and wrote well. We embarked upon a strange journey sans map and destination.

On Father's day, I pulled up to a curb and there he stood. Since that day, my life has changed in ways dramatic and subtle. But surely it has changed.

One of the major changes is this: it began innocuously enough, I was dusting behind the entertainment center. Then, the VCR, which was precariously perched upon the television fell on my wrist. I really thought my wrist was broken. My first thought? Call Henry. Henry will know how to tell if it is broken, if so, what to do. So that you know, he was at work. I am sure that if he was not, he would have been here putting an ice bag on it. But he listened when I called, and offered the ice bag advice and asked questions and calmed me.

Today, when I was in that room and my girl was having her stomach pumped (they call it lavage) - and I did not know if she might live or die, my instincts told me to call Henry. I did call. He was concerned, understanding (and at work again or he would have been right there beside me) and hopeful. I had to end the conversation abruptly because the doctor came back and needed to talk to me.

Some time passed, and my phone rang. It was my Boo, wanting to know how Lacy was doing. I gave him the update, that she would be getting a belly full of charcoal, waking up, coming home, that we would not be going to Epcot this weekend as planned. Pragmatic Heni says, ah - too hot anyway. We can do Epcot anytime.

The vet said that I should run some errands (translation - get out of our HAIR!) and return at 5:30 for my girl. I did leave. Came back, got my shaky scared very sick girl and came home. Not in the door 5 minutes, my phone rings, it is the Boo, wanting to know how she is and how I am.

I am better, now that I know who I can turn to.

For many things I am grateful. To be sure, I have had a lifetime of relatively good health if one excludes teeth and eyes. But, then again, I am grateful that some 26 or so years ago I found the dentist of my dreams. He has been in care of my mouth for a quarter of a century. Now, I have, along with others (maybe 2 of them) put his son through college and dental school Son dentist has stepped up to the plate. I decided after being asked, that I surely would give young son a chance. To date, I have been more than happy with his expertise. It is he who fitted me with the latest and greatest night guard. That night guard has become something I cannot abide sleeping without. To make it extra special, it is sexy. Just ask Henry. Just kidding. It is the size of a Buick and when in my mouth, I sound like the monster in Young Frankenstein. Today I went for cleaning. My dental technician and I are close, what with spending so much time together. Indeed, we take yoga classes together. With my obsessive compulsive flossing schedule, there is little for her to do. But she obsesses over whatever she can find. And recently, I broke a chip off a veneer on my front tooth, recently re - veneered. Dr. Son of dentist  repaired it and did not charge me. I am grateful for that. Truth be told, I prolly did it due to my addiction ( you heard it here first) to Twizzlers. STOOOPID red candy!!! REquires biting in front. Now, what with my grinding and my propensity for breaking... but NOOOOO!!! I have to chomp on sticky, tough TWIZZLERS!!

BUT I can see reeeeeally good now!

Things are really hopping in the House of Pudlin:

1. Handyman Henry called showed up and did not balk at attic walking.


2. Window guy regarding replacing some leaky windows with energy efficient ones.


3. Dryer duct cleaning guy showed up EARLY - Now, I want to remind everyone here in blog land. Dryer ducts build up lint, which is highly flammable. So it is recommended that you have that dryer duct cleaned annually. If ONE person reads this, says - oh, good idea, and does it, I will feel really good. Anyone got any dryer fire stories????

At which point, Henry arrived for our day together. Now, I had been up since approximately 4:30. I tried to nap, really I did... but every time I got close to sleeping someone called or showed up. So Heni and I took a nap. And the phone rang, and the doorbell rang, and the phone rang some more. But nonetheless, we got in plenty of time of communication replete with plenty of kisses.

We had plans to attend a function for pharmacists. Nice dinner, gratefully they did the presentation during dinner, rather than after. Lots of slides of cells and chemical diagrams. Now, if any of you have any questions about what was discussed concerning recombinant antigens and targeted therapies, you must ask Henry. I came out with the knowledge that Murine = mice. So no more Murine for me. Switching to Visine. I also now know that the halflife of one of the drugs is 20 days. Don't have clue one which drug, which dosage, and the kind of melanoma for which it is useful, but you can be sure that its halflife is 20 days.

We returned to watch Kill Bill Volume 2. All snuggled up on the couch..... lots of whispers and purring. Lots of cheesy goodness. AND then..... he went home. I suppose there is a chance that we might decide to see each other some more. Like Epcot for the weekend! Whooohooo!!!

In his infinite wisdom and with his rollodex of ancient Chinese secrets, the Boo has influenced me subtlely. Yet surely. I found myself shopping tonight for window treatments.

Initially, I began to view color and fabric and texture. Insiduously, price entered. Now, to be sure.... the story of color and texture and fabric goes back a ways. I am delighted to report that the Tao of Boo showed me the way to a 50% off sale on window treatments. Which, caused me to go down memory lane.

Remember when I thought I was about to go to trial in February? We could not locate one expert witness? Because he was in jail, on trial for murdering his ex wife ( I SWEAR I am not making this up if you are new to my blog). Do you recall? Well, as you know, during his trial, I fretted mightily.

I MISread the tarot cards and I fretted some more. And while the jury deliberated, I went into the garage and found a can of paint that I had bought for a dollar. I painted a wall. Slapped paint in the general area is more accurate.The jury came back with a guilty verdict. The doctor, a very talented doctor, who managed to put the fear of G-d into an insurance company on my behalf, was found guilty. Soon after, he tried to take his life and nearly succeeded. I will soon write to him, let him know that his testimony was paramount to my survival. I don't know if it will have any impact on him whatsoever, but for sure, his existence had an impact on my life.

That color became something more than a dollars worth. It is the perfect color to complement my life. That color on that wall, and those stairs, a metaphor. I hung some pictures and a shelf on that wall. There is a basket filled with flowers. The objects on the shelf change with my mood. Currently, there is a postcard from St. Augustine on it. Now there is a shocker.

This house, this home, is filled with my darling Joseph's DNA. For that reason, I will never sell it. And along with that, that wall was painted with a can of oops paint on the night that decided another man's life as well. Those are the stairs that I traverse a hundred times a day. Above my head hangs a lantern from bygone days in his family. To my side, leather postcards in frames from mine. The paint has more meaning than any paint should have.

The color is warm and inviting.

The mystical and partially clairvoyant Henry de Boo considered posting as a newbie - yet wanted permission, prior approval, and clearance from yours truly before offering this gem: I quote it in its entirety. To be sure, yes, he addresses me frequently as your highness, your grace, and other such terms of endearment that serve only to endear him more to me - as IF that could happen..... so I offer to you, this recent email that apparently was in response to my statement that I had worked hard all day and was about to partake of a movie on my new and improved HDTV wide screen surround sound, will do your taxes and hem your slacks media system. What was formerly referred to as a TV, in other words.

"Your Highness, please do not regard this little blurp in any way as criticism.  It is offered in the spirit that is intended, with my tongue temporarily glued to my cheek.

A hundred years ago, give or take, a former guru, now motivator emeritus retired, posed this question to the guy who was extolling the virtues of his brand new color television set.

"How much does this color TV cost you?", asked our guru.

"Three hundred dollars."

"No, that not what I meant."  so sayeth the sage.  "How much does it cost for you to WATCH it, not to buy it?"

Television and/or movie viewing is a pleasure deluxed.  Everyone should be so blessed in the Western World to be granted this boon.  For the lack of a more appropo analogy, movie viewing is like having a filet mignon served medium rare, charred and seared on the outside, but pink and juicy on the inside.  Properly served with garnish and all the trimmings, such an entree is a delight to the senses as well as the pilate.  To let your teeth sink into a juicy morsel of USDA ultra-prime hunk of barely exercised beef muscle, the most tender of all loins if you would, to appreciate the flavor, the texture, the taste, and how it melts in the watering mouth, should said filet be tabooed, as in India, the Almighty would not have invented cows!  

As a special treat, said entree, with or without dessert, is gourmet delight par excellence, almost as wonderful as taking an afternoon nap.  As an everyday fare however, one may lose all sense of perspective and appreciation of the fine, the better, and the best.  It robs the pilate, and hence the person in question, of his true calling, zaps his creative energies, and divert him from doing what he should be doing. 

There is a school of thought that says, "nothing succeeds like excess", which dovetails into the idea of more is inherently better.  More, as we both know, is just more.  Enjoy life, yes, to be sure, but what makes life worthwhile, that is the question?  (Will quote the same guru in another sitting.)

de metaphyical fool de Boo, who knows not from where he speaks."

Now - I ask you.... is he priceless or what?????

You wonder why I am all enamored and get all fluffed up about de Boo? He who cares enough about me to do things for me that no one could-would-should expect???? Who would think that you could look up to find someone so wonderful? How was I granted this luxury? *I*, very simple, very normal, with my share of warts and all - look up to find that there is this person who seems to have special glasses that afford him to see me in my totality, and he still likes me? What is that all about? To find someone who not only gets the SofPness that I am, but understands it? How can it be? That he knows about chop wood, carry water. Indeed, knew of it and achieved it long before I knew. Understands the concept of enlightenment because he is enlightened. All of that with a sublime sense of humor:

"Before Enlightenment, mowing lawn, blowing leaves.
After Enlightenment, mowing lawn, blowing leaves.

Hey, instant gratification, lawn mowing that is."

I go out on a limb, such that it is. This is a portion of an email I received earlier tonight. I truly hope Heni does not mind me sharing a small portion of him with you who cheer him (and me) on. That many of you wish us well, and G-dspeed to finding happiness. That the HR I have mentioned checks here to see how I am. That the Loops and Lynnes and Flarings and Mimi's and Sashasmommas, etc. collectively wish us well and hope that we find continued happiness in each others arms.

If it is up to me, and my ability to continue to whip up simple dishes and be all cute and entertaining and give good massages, then we got it down. I have been in that place where I worried about what might be, and what might have been. Right now, I am all about being here now. This moment. And in this moment, I have it real good. I can go to sleep with the incredible knowledge that there is this amazing person that cares about me deeply. That he cares enough to suit up, show up, mow up. We apparently have found our own little Zen garden. I am happy to chop wood, carry water.

My lawn man is MIA for some two months now. It seems that he has fallen off the face of the planet. Henry has watched my grass growing and growing. He kept mentioning that it would only take 5 minutes for him to mow. I kept telling him Jimmy would show up. Not to worry.

This morning I ran to Home Depot for paint. The paint matching computer is broken. No paint for me.

I came home to find the girl here with the grandkids. We were in the kitchen and suddenly I heard a noise that sounded remarkably like a lawn mower. I went to investigate. Sure enough, there was my sweet baboo mowing the lawn. I was moved to tears. Stood there feeling so grateful, so touched. Now understand that he worked very late last night and got to bed well past 3am. And here he is at 11 mowing MY lawn when his lawn is in need as well. And if that is not the true meaning of the verb, I don't know what is.

Today is Joseph's birthday. I do not say "was", for that is a great distinction. Today, August 14th, will always be the anniversary of his birth. That he has died does not take away from that. To be sure, I celebrated this day. Just differently than if he were still with me.

I celebrated it by thanking him silently in prayer for teaching me how to prepare for hurricanes. For providing me with this ship of a house that is on the highest ground on this peninsula in which I live. I thanked him each time the weather station showed the map of what we would look like with 13 foot surges. My house would be in the area surrounded by the new Atlantis.

I also celebrated by telling Heni about Joseph and my first date, which, coincidentally, also took place on an August the 14th. By reliving and sharing those memories, I believe that he continues to live, if only in my heart.

Last night I had a dream in which I was very confused and upset. In it, he was still alive, had left me and returned and was chastising me for not being faithful. But I think that this is still my subconcious trying to make peace with my consciousness or vice versa. Because, to be sure, I am true to him by continuing to be the loving woman that he fell in love with. To deny that part of myself would be the most egregious injustice to his memory of all.

Happy birthday, my darling.

Truly I must be the most spoiled person on the face of the earth. I have more people and stuff to be grateful for than the law should allow. And yet, I am focused on what.... that my new and improved (Now THERE is a question) tv and dvd is not working according to plan? That my PC was unavailable to me and I had to resort to an ancient laptop? TWO computers???? Here I have just been through what could have been a tragic storm of epic proportions that turned at the very last minute and spared my home and the lives and personal possessions of my family and friends and yet, an hour later I am acting like a spoiled brat because I am not able to play with the toy that I want right NOW! That with a million other toys at my disposal?

And I have long hoped to be better than this. To be more Zen like. To be more enlightened. Chop wood and carry water. Before enlightenment, chop wood, carry water. After enlightenment, chop wood, carry water. This morning the term "enlightenment" came up when I was running my mouth about ancient history over breakfast with Heni. Coincidentally, he was reading a bit before bed about enlightenment and reminded me of the aforementioned turn of phrase. It seems that enlightenment is something that can be recognized, but cannot be sought. One cannot say "today, I will learn to be enlightened". And then go out and do it. To be sure, I suspect that recognizing enlightenment is much like getting olives out of a jar. The first one is kind of tough. Then they begin to roll out. I can't get the damn lid off the jar.

Due to the recent storm, local hospitals that were in danger zones evacuated patients to other hospitals. Namely, the one where my dear Sweet Baboo (affectionately referred to as "da Boo") works. AND all were called in to work early and stay late. So he did.

When it looked like my city was to become the new Atlantis, DF Carol packed up her kitty and came to hang out with me. My house is on the highest elevation in this end of the county. Hers is on the water. This is a no brainer. We put the kitty in my office where she set up kitty shop behind the file cabinet.

Then I whoooped up on Carol at penny ante poker. Now, I am not knowledgeable about poker, but I am a fool at love... (no, that is a Joni Mitchell lyric) But I am pretty good at reading Carol. I cleaned her clock with crummy deals.

Sometime late in the afternoon, the dogs managed to get in to visit with Ms. kitty. In the process, they managed to unseat the mouse, monitor, and keyboard. They shorted out the keyboard in the machine.

SO, of course, I let Henry know that I was experiencing this technical difficulty. And then I went to bed - at about 9pm. (I had been up since 4:30 when I heard screen door slams in the wind so don't go giving me that look, I was tired from all the preparations. Tossing stuff in the pool and bringing in the contents of the front porch is very stressful.  At about 1:30 or so, I got up and called to see how he was making out. All was so quiet it was eerie.

This morning, bright and early, my knight in shining armor arrived to fix my pc. I have never in my life had so many problems with a pc. To think! So he readily determined that the hard drive was not firing on all cylinders. We took it to the retail POP and the guy explained the reason. All better. We went back home. He reinstalled everything. All is well.

And now he is at work, and I am here and I have the ability to send him lots of emails again. Life is good.

We once again can be very very grateful that we were overlooked by a powerful storm.

I write this on a pc that is ancient. My new and improved PC is not working. It is much like my tv/dvd player - big empty box of money.

But I made it thorugh the storm. I am grateful.

Yesterday was my darling Henry's day off. YES! A whole day of Heni.

As is custom, Heni arrived with a gift of beautiful dishes trimmed in gold and porcelain soup spoons. We started the day with my first attempt at pho'. While edible, it lacked the pho'-ness of pho'. Something is very lacking. I will continue the experiment. In the meantime, the leftover will make flavorful water in which to cook rice and noodles over the coming days of hurricane Charley.

The poodles went in for a much needed bath and haircut. Then we went to a local business to look at cabinets. I simply despised the idea of doing business with these people based on the television commercials. I was right, they are glaringly devoid of any professionalism. The salesman was dirty. They did not have what I want. But I got an idea of pricing and I suppose that makes it worth it.

Then we stopped at Ethan Allen. I found a dining room table that was simply stunning, as was the price tag. But I started thinking about it and reality kicked in. There is no place to put the chairs if the drop leaves are down. With the leaves up, I don't save any room. Keep looking.

The cable guy was due between 2-4. He arrived at 3:59 to replace the cable boxes. In the process, somehow my new wide screen, HDTV,surround sound, every bell and whistle known to man tv has been replaced with a huge box of uselessness. The DVD player has split 16 ways screen and no sound. The tv plays through the tv speakers only. There are FOUR remotes, none of which do anything that is on any of the millions of buttons. I will need to hire a crew to sort it out and educate me on how to watch a movie.

For several weeks now, we have been trying to get to a restaurant in Tampa called Bamboo Club. Last night was no exception. But as we were getting ready to hit the bridge, it occurred to us that this was not such a good plan considering the impending storm and the panicked mobs. So we headed for downtown. There, all the business owners were putting plywood in windows and battening down the hatches.

We found Carrabbas open and for once no lines! We had a lovely dinner. Heni wrote his name on a napkin - in Chinese characters. Showed me what each portion meant. So cool.... tree + tree = forest.

And then there are those times scattered throughout the days and nights together that remain here with me. You must know that there are moments of such tenderness and gentleness and devotion.... well, it is all very romantic and soft and radiant. The more I am with him, the more I understand him and our level of communication increases. How much more it could increase, I do not claim to know.

As you know, I live in Pinellas County, Florida. Now, you may have heard that there is a substantial storm heading my way. This character is called Charley. I want to tell you a couple of things in the event that you might be worried. I remember when we were all worried about our wonder girl Proshat in Iran when they had the earthquake and want to save you the trouble of fretting about me.

As I earlier explained to my darling Boo, (and more about him later), this old house has lived through more than 65 years of weather. While newer homes are built so that there is little air exchange, this house leaks like a seive. This is good in a storm. I told him, and I tell you, in 1940 they built houses like ships. This land bound ship is weather worthy. She is constructed of Florida yellow pine, a substance so hard that in order to drive a nail, you have to pre drill the hole.

In heavy winds (hurricane force), the idea is that you have to keep the pressure from building up. To do so, you open windows on the lee side of the storm. I don't need to concern myself with this for the reasons that the windows are the old double hung jobs, and leak... and you can see open air if you go in the attic with my furry little friends.

As you know, I have a marked propensity for stocking up on things. There is enough food here for the dogs and I along with those in a 3 block radius until Thansgiving or so. I have a two year supply of candles..... not really kidding here. I filled the car with gas in case I need to escape. I got cash. The pool will supply toilet flushing water for quite some time. Currently the pool is serving as a storage facility for all the outdoor furniture and doubling as a furniture washing machine. If it is in there, it won't fly around knocking out windows. I will spend some time putting together the lanterns and such but other than that, I am as prepared as I intend to get.

Please - if the power should be down, check my sister's blog for updates if you are concerned. That, of course is assuming that telephone lines are not blocked. But try not to worry. Those of us old die hards use these things as an opportunity to have hurricane parties. I intend to spend my time wisely, blogging, scrapbooking and writing and cleaning and such.

One of the 465 calls yesterday went out to a young man who said he would be here at 7am. His name is Skip. He was on time. He has a brand new family, nine day old baby girl named Sophia. His truck is immaculate. He looks all fresh faced, young and ambitious. He has a business of renovating old houses like this one. I asked about the attic. Can do. I asked about clearing the fence line. Can do. Also is giving me a price on the kitchen. He says he is less expensive than Home Depot. Yippeee!!! He says he will get back with me in a couple of days about the kitchen price. AND that he may be able to get his "handyman" up into the attic in the next couple of days. YIPPEE!!!

Another of my not so famous 10 things:

1. Being in the moment - chop wood, carry water - To be sure, this is not the first rodeo with rodentia. Just the first with face to face combat in my drawer of sweaters. Previously have had detente'. ENDED. Visualize Uma Thurman on crack. I am so done.

2. My work ethic: I do good stuff. Not shoddy. Not half fast (read that quickly, you will understand). I anticipate, yes, expect that sort of work from others. Chop wood and carry water. I don't give a fig what you "do". Do it well or do not advertise. If you claim to be a "handyman" then be one. Become one with a hammer..

3. CAST Iron. Good stuff. Don't wash with detergent. Nuff said.

4. Good friends. Season like cast iron. Treat with respect.

5. CATS - not enough of them right now...

6. Horses - have had some in my life. Horses are good stuff. Note to self: look into getting some riding time if not some ownership time.

7. Am CRAVING puppy!  Nuff said

8. Can I hear it for true VACATION? Maybe Maine?

9. I want the floor in the garage painted. This is a can do.

10. Kitchen. Is it ASKING too much? We have the technology. We have the money... what seems to be the big Labowski???? WHAT !

Imagine my dismay at having to deal with citrus rats in my built-in dresser. Now imagine that you were me, and you really did want to resolve this issue as quietly and with as much dignity as possible. But with every turn, every phone call asking for help and getting none the stress level was increasing. But it just got to be too much yesterday.

I have called a large number of "handymen" and asked for help. One came to my house and wanted to make frames lined with metal screening and attach these contraptions to the OUTSIDE of my house. Now I moan, groan and complain when someone in our historically important neighborhood leaves a barbeque grill in the front yard. I am frequently heard to say that when I am made empress that those who decorate front porches with any furniture which previously resided inside shall be drawn and quartered or keel hauled at whim. So did this character really think that I would tolerate 8 wooden screen lined boxes to be nailed up on the outside of my house????

So last night, I finally let Henry in on the problem that I had been avoiding discussing. And he is sympathetic and concerned and empathizes with me about the difficulties of finding good craftspeople. He had been reluctant to offer a person he has used because if the person did not do a good job, he would feel badly. But it seems that we overcame that and he made the call. Now this person may or may not work out. But that he went to the trouble to call means much. Then he suggested a tree guy he has used. I left a message.

But by far, the best advice he offered was www.angieslist.com which is a list of businesses and craftspeople in your area rated by people who have used them. I started looking through the list, and something caught my eye.... dryer vent cleaning. I have a deep seated fear of fire. I have a friend whose two story home burned to the ground because a car in the garage (similar to mine) caught fire. She and her family escaped but lost all of their personal belongings. I have since not parked in the garage for that reason. BUT I have not had the dryer vent cleaned in over five years. AND it runs under the house all the way across the long way. I have an appointment for the vent to be cleaned on Friday.

There are several ways that I can choose to spin this rat thing. I choose to use this one: If not for the rats, I would not have called 65 handymen to no avail. If one of the "handymen" had been "handy" I would not have given up and told Henry about the problem. If Henry did not know about the problem with the handymen, he would not have suggested Angieslist.com. And if not for browsing through Angieslist.com for the various catagories, I would not have seen dryer vent cleaning. And by setting that appointment to have the dryer vent cleaned, Henry may very well have saved my life, my dogs, and my home. My hero, Heni.

If you've sensitive ears (eyes) might want to delete this post. Truth be told I am sublimely pissed off at him what I loved most. Takes a set of cajones to admit to being pissed at them what cannot state what is or may not be his fault.

FACT: in 1995 or so, I smelled rat piss in my stove. I was not a happy cooker. I called him on it. He said I was nuts. I called in HIS dog. His dog and a high broiler proved me right. Next day I had a new stove. 

FACT: in 1996 or so he planted a tree, right outside the garage. I asked "how tall?" He answered ' 5 or six feet" I said - 'you sure?"

FACT: July 2004- He is not here to take care of stuff. I open drawer, see seven inch long tail. Nuff said.

FACT: I do not do rodent. I shoot rodent. One can see me on numerous occasions with gun and six pack in back yard shooting rodents.

FACT: My guest room bed is covered with laundry. I am not happy about that. My winter clothing should be in -color me crazy! the Dresser! But NO! I now get to pay some yahoo a bunch to prevent rats from making my laundry room into Rat Central because some cherry tree was important.. For what??

FACT: any tree limb touching THIS old house effective tomorrow is so gone. I am tired of crying. I am tired of rats. I am just plain tired.

FACT: Sometimes rats are a metaphor. Sometimes, not so much.

Reminiscing - some lame movie theatre (now a much cooler gay church) in the early 70's with mother and sister...LOVE STORY - the SANITIZED VERSION OF LEUKEMIA SANS PUKE. We waited in line for what may have been days. We watched this Ali McGraw chick flick.... and when she dove under the piano... I guffawed. Mom matched me haw for haw. Sister was apoplectic! This was the Tide commercial for death! I did not realize it fully at the time. I was reacting from gut. It was false, pretentious and I did not buy into it.

Later, much later, I dealt with death. With regard to the aforementioned Hollywood apparition, I was right. They had it wrong. Death, when it is yours, is much more of a personal affront. It takes ones solar plexus to an all new high when someone you have yet to be properly introduced to says ' Mrs. Holl, I am so sorry...." Now. They really truly regret their position at that juncture, of this I remain convinced. This is not the part of their job that they claim makes them feel the warm fuzzies. Their motivation is not my issue. They make a choice.

Death sucks. Dayum. Phuck it!

I have made the choice to speak in ladylike terms and sometimes you just have to resort to plumbing words.

FUCK!

The plan is this: I am but a woman alone in this old cottage. I cannot fix fences nor install kitchens. Plumbing is better left to the experts along with electrical problems. They ask simple questions. My stock reply is "I don't know".

When Joseph was alive, everything in this old cottage was perfectly maintained. Each screw in each lock pointed in the same direction and used the same key. All the wiring worked. The shower massage actually had some water pressure. The fence was solid. The landscaping was pretty and the grass was all there. Every time I hear CSNY sing Our House, I felt and lived that life. All that changed and then some.

I am on a "vacation" in which I am attempting to repair, replace, restore my home and my soul. So much of who I am, why I exist, why I managed to find my way through that black abyss is wrapped up in this house. It is not much, but it is mine. It contains mountains of memories. And... you know I think of this every day, it contains his DNA. Forensically speaking, it is impossible to enter a room and leave it without leaving some of yourself behind. I could sand blast this house and still he would remain. Therefore, I will never sell it. Why would I?

For those who believe in signs and signals - yesterday, just as Henry was about to kiss me, the lights above my head dimmed for just a second.... a flicker, to be sure. I know what it was, it was a sign that he is present, aware of what is going on, is approving of it all. This old house, that wiring is so unpredictable...... not.

When we last left our heroine, she was in the middle of the bay, the Sunshine Skyway looked like one of those aquarium bridges, and her Griffin was on shore reading a suspense novel.

So I whipped around the bay at a whopping 3.5 knots most of the time. Distant thunder was becoming not all that distant. I brought HWK in to shore. There is a car wash there that I can use to rinse all my stuff. Convenient. We went back to Carol's and had a glass of wine and cheese and crackers.

Then we came home and took a sweet little nap. I have become the biggest fan of naps. Naps are GOOOD! Naps should be part of everyday life. Naps provide people like Heni and me a chance to gaze into each others eyes for a few moments before drifting off into restful, recuperative sleep.

But, like all good things must end, so did our nap. And since I had eaten but a cookie and some cheese and crackers, I was ravenous! Also factor in that I had quite a total body workout. (Of COURSE I mean kayaking!) We went to the Green Iguana for dinner so that we could sit outside and I could cry out in a loud voice at the coconut palms - "wow! did you see the size of those nuts!" We had 3 appetizers and a beer. And good conversation, and public displays of affection.

And then we came back here to the house of Pudlin. I asked him to look at the tv to see if we could possibly figure out why the dvd player was not working. Again, I reiterate repeatedly, redundantly, and over and over - all appliances and electronics require electricity. We plugged it in. He fiddled with stuff... next thing *I* knew, Master and Commander was playing all over my living room and the blood was bursting forth from the tv onto the floor! I was on THAT ship!!! Now, there are issues with the surround sound... but we made great progress.

Much like we seem to have made in other areas. When I review the time between that first fateful email in June, and now, I am flabbergasted. One of the best parts of this is that I am not fraught with that usual crap of "will he call"? We seem to have transcended to a point where it is clear that unless something really awful rears its ugly head, or there is some major life changing event, that we will just continue to percolate along. I am completely confident and comfortable with where we are. Big fan of I like where we are, reporting in, Right HERE.

I am a lucky girl. I have found the best kisser in the whole universe. And he seems to like to kiss ME!

It has been brought to my attention that I may need to explain my whereabouts or some might raise a hue and cry (there, Loops, happy?) To be sure, I have had another remarkable Heni filled day.

It began with me loading up hobie wan kanobi. I picked up Henry and we went to Carol's for a couple of reasons. 1. I can launch from the beach easily there and be in deep water relatively quickly, yet remain within sight of land. 2. Carol and Henry needed to meet. Both are big parts of my life, both needed to be in the same room. We brought coffee and pastries. We chatted, and then Carol read his palm. Henry was quite impressed with her accuracy. She is very good.

There was some concern regarding the weather, but I was determined. I took HWK to the waters edge. Henry had brought camera and book and was content to stay on shore and watch. I set off. It was very calm windwise today, but with pedal power combined with sail, I did manage to get to 4.5 knots a couple of times. But the thing is just being there. It is impossible to be out there - alone, vulnerable to bigger boats and sudden storms, not to mention the possibility that I could run out of steam before making it back to shore. It is not quite like a gas guage where one can tell when you might need to refuel (unless of course, one drives a vintage sedan sans accurate gas guage......). All I have to rely upon out there is Susan power. And I need to be sure that I have enough reserve to make it back to whence I started. But that is not the point. The point is this: I am out there. I am alone, content, able to think clearly. Chop wood carry water. Be here now. I am in the total zen of me in my boat on the ocean. I dip an arm into the sea and raise it to the heavens to watch the drops trail down my arm. I turn into the little wind and see the effect, instantaneously as the sail billows and I once again progress forward, albeit slowly. And much like my life, which has hit shallows and days and months of windless skies, every so often there is that transcendental moment of yes, this is right. This is what it is supposed to feel like, with a sense of thrill as I move forward, picking up speed.

I looked down and realized that I was able to see the grass flats below. I would guess that there were a million forms of life there. It was a sociaty all unto itself. The various sea plants billowing in the currents surely providing refuge for the tiny creatures.

And I have my own refuge in the arms of my ain true Boo who was waiting patiently on shore. To be sure, I can kayak anytime I choose. But it was he that encouraged it today. I would not have suggested it because I was concerned that he would be bored watching me from the shore. But he suggested, recommended, encouraged. It is he that seems to have figured out how my mind works, how best to let me work things out when something is bothering me. He doesn't offer advice. He doesn't pretend to know the answers. He just suggests, encourages me, really, and his suggestions nearly always are exactly what I need at the exact moment that I need them. With that said, more astute gentle readers might easily deduce that he seems to have the uncanny ability to fulfill other needs as well. And to prevent this from becoming the mother of all posts.... I leave you with this: be here now.

The new and improved television was delivered by some really great guys tonight in the pouring rain. They hooked it up. All is amazing.

MORE amazing is that I have so much to be grateful for. DF Carol came for dinner. I did some stir fry stuff. She acts like I hung the moon. Henry acts like I can make the sun rise and set. I am not all that. I am just me. But me so much more the grateful for the Henry's and Lisa's and Carols's and sissys of the world. Grateful for the puds who are ready to plunk their fuzzy butts into my bed and keep me warm and safe. To be sure, you would better think three times if you want to come in unannounced, for there would be a hue and cry raised that might make one sit up and take notice. For this, I am grateful to my dogs. 

I am grateful to my blog friends who have stood by me in times of trial and triumph. Who have quietly behind the scenes, sent email, cards, prayers, and more. I am grateful for them what came before me, for they are part and parcel of who I am. I am grateful. Suffice it to say, I am grateful.

Today wrapped up my favorite Vietnamese restaurant's half price on all noodle dish anniversary celebration so Heni and I had pho'. Which, as you may remember are two of my favorite things..... Heni and pho'.

Followed by another of my favorite things: a nap. Naps are wonderful around here..... with the exception that I am forbidden to use my stand fan for the next 3 months due to the recent eye surgery. Ceiling fans and stand fans dry out your eyes. Can't have that. Also have to put drops in frequently. Fortunately, I have this person who cares enough to remind me when he thinks it is time...guess who!

Sometime in the next few hours, my new television is to be delivered. Make no mistake, I am very excited about that. But is it what is on my mind? Nope. I am fixated on the pretty words he said to me earlier. Things so endearing.... but that would be diluted by sharing. You will have to believe me when I write that he says some very wonderful things to me....

And tomorrow is his day off. He wants to supervise and photograph the early morning launching of Hobie Wan Kanobi. We have also talked about dinner - so it seems that we may end up spending a whole day together again. Who knew!

The moving forward part(s): I received phone call from attnys that once again I am to be deposed. Now in the past, this has sent me scurrying and anxiety ridden. Now, there is a new paradigm in place. I am calm, prepared, and confident that I will win the day.

The living areas of my home look pretty bad. I dismantled (with a little help from my friend Carol) the entire entertainment system that consisted of 67 separate units that Joseph had carefully wired together. All of that is theoretically to be replaced with a box the size of one of the units. In the interim, it is all over the house. So I suppose that by my remodeling, repainting, rethinking my house, I am in a sense moving forward with that as well.

Yet another sign of this moving forward paradigm is that I was reading other peoples blogs, comments and profiles with an interest to seeing how some of us have become interconnected. Which led me to BillyRyan, which led me to A Window, which led me to Loops and right back to me. There, I saw my profile for the first time since probably the day that I wrote it. And I made a change in it today. I changed the relationship definition.

The holding back part: My sleep was terminated around five am with a nagging anxiety that has grown in me and continues to grow. That anxiety, is that a very important piece or pieces of information are being withheld. Information that is necessary in order to determine the most logical course of action. This nagging doubt was reinforced last night with the turn of a card, in this case the Page of Swords. The message is: take a closer look, there is more here than meets the eye.

Assume that you had this really cool, wide screen HDTV surround sound system.

What would you watch first? Keep it to ten please!

Today's foray into the 19th century (anyone who has visited must surely realize that I am "challenged") is that I bought a new television! To be delivered tomorrow!

To say that I am jazzed is an understatement. It is, of course, all Heni's doing ( I say that JUST for him) because he told me and showed me what real people have for tv sets. And I began looking and coveting and thinking. Then, just the other night, Lisa said - Schlock! We need to go tv shopping. So I started thinking and searching and reading up on the options via Consumer Reports.

Plasma runs too hot and scares me. Price tag too big and scary.

LCD too small and not so much.

Stay with CRT - with HDTV - with surround sound! Who knew!!! So, I paid and went and am so looking forward to tomorrow when it is delivered, and Monday when it is all hooked up. WHOOO HOOO!!!

Here is an update on the happenings and nonhappenings in the House of Pudlin...

1. The dogs (and I) are on summer vacation from training. It is too hot to train outside. It is too busy to train inside. When the mozzies go into hibernation and the outside temp drops to a balmy 85 instead of the consistent 145 degrees with rain, we will resume where we left off.

2. This old house needs lots of work. Yesterday an electrician fixed the power to the bar which had been out of commission for quite some time. There is another handyman type due early next week. Monday 2 guys from 2 fence companies are to come give me estimates.

3. The kitchen plans are moving along. I am on a hunt for a 24 inch farm sink and a space saver microwave. The beadboard cabinets will be just about purrrrfect for the 1940's look I desire. The plan is to have two sets of knobs, porcelain - one cobalt blue for the winter months when I bring out the heavy artillery pottery from Mark of the Potter, and another set in one of the summer colors for when I am using the LuRay. Now, the rest of the kitchen will be white with accents of white and white trim. Ala shabby chic. White tile countertops, white cast iron sink, white everything. Sose I can change my mind, doncha know.

4. I am on the prowl for a new tv. Let's face it kids. The current model is at least 10 years old. It has a 6 inch screen easy. It is time that I entered the 21st century, doncha think? Give me plasma! I want my HDTV!

5.The Henry and Susan show is coming along swimmingly. The writers are having a wonderful time coming up with interesting plot lines and dialogue. There is already talk of having it translated into 4 other languages, among them, ENGLISH! Who knew! The first season will soon be out on DVD.

Having a wife might be handy. Someone to whom I could delegate the stuff that needed to be looked after the way that I took care of things when I was a wife. This operating a household on one brainpower is too consuming. Of course, I would have to find a wife that had no trouble finding her own gratification, because sexually, I find a man the more desirable of the genders.

That said, it would be cool to have a wife. Someone that would look after the details, the shopping for groceries, the laundry, the drycleaning, et al.

I was a good wife, once.

#14 - Sister is correct. Number 14 goes to #11 Pho' at Mekong. #11 is pho' with rare sliced beef. I get jiggy with the lemon and the Thai basil and toss in some chili sauce. Slurping is not only ignored, indeed it is required.

15. - Spices. Tonight, I opened my cabinets that contain spices. Henry thought that there might be spices there he had never heard of. He is right. I am a total spice slut. BUT my spices are alphabetized. I can tell you exactly where they all are.

16. Candles - I love candles - wait - is this a repeat?

17. Tea - only loose thanks.... the art of tea is out of my league, nonetheless, I know how to brew a pot and I have any number of favorites. But you all knew this.

18. HATS!!!! I love hats. Both vintage and new. Or sometimes the best of both, as when my devoted sister gifted me with THREE hats that were artistic renderings of old hats redone to be that and more. One must have sort of an attitude to wear hats. Sometimes one wears a hat, sometimes the hat wears you. If that is true, it is the wrong hat.

19. Shoes. - nuff said. I have the full range, from my dear Birkenstock tree huggers to divine numbers that I would love to be able to deduct on a tax return as an IRA contribution. Carrie and I have much in common in our desire. However, I have exercised way more constraint. I do not own a pair of Manolo Blahniks. Coveted? Oui! Tried on? To be sure! Purchased.... nope. But I do have one purse that came with its own monogrammed velvet bag, and it matches a pair of Barbie cork soled wedgies to simply DIE for.

20. Orchids. Joseph gave me an orchid for mothers day in I dunno, 1980 something. That pathetic thing hangs on. Has never flowered again. But I retain hope. And I buy those forced orchids and when they cease to flower, continue to care for them like they will rise like a phoenix from the ashes.

Today has been nothing short of wonderful from the very start. The "plan" was to go to the Ringling Museum in Sarasota. Alas, the weather here is rain, rain, and more rain. I am seriously considering building an ark.

But no matter. We two are flexible and adaptable. I had planned another picnic since we had such a wonderful time the first time we picnicked together. So when I was picking up stuff for dinner and a movie with Lisa, I was also picking up picnic supplies for a day of Heni.

Henry arrived precisely on time 10:30 am, as is his habit. AND as also is his habit, he brought me a gift. This time, reading glasses so that I have a pair for each room. We discussed the possibilities that lay before us..... and the rain drummed a staccato on the windows outside. I made a pot of tea and brought out some biscotti and cookies. We had a little tea party, but without the hats. Still, it was all very La Tea Da. Soon thereafter was a ring at the door. A friend stopped by unannouced. She came in, had some tea, left again. By this time, we were ready for some more substantial fare. I brought out roasted chicken, mushrooms stuffed with pesto, artichokes stuffed with sun dried tomato cream, hearts of palm salad, and mozzarella with basil and tomatoes. We had a glass of wine and a picnic in the dining room.

And then we went to the Museum of Fine Art. Now, Henry took photos of me going into the museum and I assure you that as soon as they become available that I will post them.

This time of year, there are rotating shows. Currently we saw Wegmans Weimeraners in all sorts of silliness. Entering the Dog Days of Summer exhibit, with the tour guide and a small group, we were privy to the exchange of physical affection between two very attractive young ladies. I mention this because it clearly unnerved the tour guide. We of course, were amused and delighted to have the usual attention bestowed upon us displaced to another "interesting couple" for a change. It seems that people find us so "interesting" that they overcome their shyness and ask the most importune questions. One wonders why they might need this knowledge... but I digress.

I love the MFA because of its very large collection of impressionists work for such a small city. We have Monet, Cezanne, Van Gogh, Gaugin, and Cassat. We have a Georgia O'Keefe, Poppy, to be sure. I wanted to see art through Henry's eyes, to see what he liked, didn't like, what did not move him at all. I got that and more. His sense of humor never fails to absolutely slay me. Just the most innocuous dry wit that you can imagine. There were a number of sly fondlings going on in that museum and they were not all between the aforementioned young  women who apparently are not the only two people ini the world who have trouble keeping their hands to themselves.....

So all this adventure sure can tucker a girl out! We went home and I got to take a nap. Now I have made references to some of the things that I love. Well, let me tell you here and now that I love naps. Coincidentally, due to his working hours, Henry takes a nap every afternoon too. He has reawakened in me my love of naps. Today's nap was just wonderful. Outside the rain fell, yet inside my cozy little cottage built by the little guys in the hollow tree that put chips in cookies, all was well. There, snuggled up in my quilts and safe in my home, I allowed my mind to wander until I was overcome with sleep. I awakened totally refreshed and satisfied.... and just in time to have dinner and a movie! Who knew how the hours flew by!

Once again, our plans were changed. We had planned a stir fry, but a key ingredient was overlooked. Not a problem here. In fact, if any of you are ever really hungry, do stop in. I will fix up something and have enough food left for 32 of your friends. I tend to have too much food here. Which means I must give it away, or entertain more.

To the leftovers from last nights feast, I simply baked some cod in lemon pepper and Ponzu (soy sauce with citrus - Japanese - VERY wonderful), heated some fettucine alfredo, and leftover asparagus with rabe and pine nuts, Hearts of palm salad, etc... and crudite' with sesame ginger dip and assorted olives. Oh, and Loops - I garnished...Dessert was miniature cheesecakes. AND no, folks, I didn't create most of what we ate. I slaved over a difficult take out at an Italian grocery for a solid 15 minutes.

Henry seemed to like it. He became a member of the clean plate club. He says that he enjoys everything that seems to be done with thought and presentation. That attention to detail is charming. That most people don't cook like I do, they just throw things together. We talk about ambience and mood and vignettes of beauty. And his voice gets all soft with that cadence that I so dearly cherish.... and he tilts his head to the side as so often he does, and as he is talking about some lofty principle, or the differences in cultures, his touch is a constant. Just stroking the back of my hand, tracing my jawline, touching my hair.

Then we prepared to watch the movie de jour. I lit candles and dimmed lights. We watched Indochine - Catherine Deneuve and beautiful scenery and loaded with fabulous scenery and acting. Not to mention loads of tragedy. Now, when we snuggle up on the couch to watch a movie, there seems to have been something that occurred when no one was paying attention, that thing is that one might find it difficult to determine where Henry stops and Susan starts, for we seem to meld into this unit of comfort and affection and devotion.

This movie, if you have not seen it, is to be placed on your must see list. After it was over he kissed me.... again... and that first kiss was awe - inspired by this kiss.

This kiss spoke in a language all our own. This kiss made promises and revealed secrets and hopes and dreams. This evocative, passionate, resonating, pulsating, and flame retardent kiss has evolved from that first kiss that swirled and swooped and drifted into cirrus above before bursting into song. This kiss melded hearts into one and wrote a sonnet that will long be remembered by lovers everywhere. This kiss was Paris in spring and cherry blossoms.

Dear astute gentle readers, those what read between lines and read those lines well, this kiss was all wonderfulness and glorification of what can go on between two people. I think you know where I am headed here.

Not going to do 100 things in a row. No SIR! Not my style

Number 11. goats. I like them. I eat them, I like the soap that comes from the milk. Goats are good. Plus I like goat cheese. When I was a very little girl, my daddy took us to a farm where the man made goat cheese wrapped in cracked black pepper. That pepper was hot to a child. But that cheese was good.

NUMBER 12: Quilts. It is all good. I quilt, I am proud to report. It is a legacy. You cannot go wrong with a quilt.

NUMBER 13: Cast Iron. good cooking to be done in it. NUFF said.

There is a long standing tradition in the house of pudlin of friends gathering for "dinner and a movie". One of those long time pals is Lisa. Lisa is always really on the cutting edge of the best movies.

Lisa was with me the night Joseph died.I love her. Joseph loves her. She fed him that night.

We vowed, long before we ever dreamed we might be as close to the truth as we were, that if anything happened to me, she would marry him. That, since they both liked redheaded women, she would ask that he farm out the sex. If only we had known on those weekends when the two of them would hang at the Blue Note with the laptop plugged in, checking out the nekkid babes. I would be in the kitchen, whipping up Spanikopita and Sushi and whatever else might amuse them. Understand, there was never any worry that Lisa might make a move. She loved him, but like a brother. She loved him, because he loved me, and she loves me,  and it was all so very fun.

And she was so very there for me Know this, if not for Lisa, I would not be here. Lisa took my dehydrated starving ass out of my house and made me eat. As G-d is my witness, on the day he died, I stopped eating. I had hoped that no one could hold me responsible, if I died of starvation. Occasionally I drank some water. Lisa saw through my plan and hauled my pathetic ass to a restaurant and ordered. Compelled me to eat something, anything. Cleared up for me that I must forego all liquid for about 2 weeks. If that was my plan. That my plan sucked out loud. That my plan  was disrespectful to my darling love.

Lisa is a really really good friend. I love her.

When we were growing up, we three were all we had for what seemed to be a very long time. Our father was conspicuous in his absense and our mother had taken off to "find herself". So I had my sister and my brother. Now, as you can rightly imagine, I was very dependent upon them.

Time went by, mom came back - seems she left the biggest part of herself when she left us three to fend for ourselves. We grew up. Always, the adults were outside of that very private inner sanctum. We had our own language. We didn't let them hurt any of us anymore.

And then it took its toll on our brother and he was lost to us. Which left we two sisters. Now, I imagine that twins are close. I think that we are probably not too far behind. I hear from people all the time that they would like to be closer to thier siblings. Well I am.

My sister may think that I taught her some cool stuff but here is what I learned watching her. Now, it is safe to assume that we never got to see what a good marriage looked like. Yet, my sister figured out how to have one. Anyone who has been married knows that it is not easy all the time. But she figured out how to be not just a good wife, but a great wife. Not just a good mother to her husband's kids, but a great mother.

She showed me the fine art of frugality, which has served me well in time of need. She showed me how to be sure that those I love feel loved and appreciated. If you go into my sister's home, you will feel my presence in each room. I swear she saved every thing that I ever wrote, every card, letter, poem, silly treasures and artwork. Each piece is displayed as if it were a Monet or Cezanne.

She may think that *I* am the cool one, but truth be told, she is pretty cool herself. But I don't care WHAT she says, beans and dumplings are not fit for human consumption.

My apologies for the size of the photos. Better now, ok?