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| Buddy The Rescue Mini to be Delivered Tomorrow |
| 04.30.04 (1:46 pm) [edit] |
Well, I am going to open my home to Buddy, who was found wandering in a parking lot in Georgia.
Buddy is a silver miniature poodle. He will be with me for 2-3 months during which time I will endeavor to teach him some manners.
:D Let's hope that Buddy is a quick study.
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| Jiggling the Liver should earn bonus T Bucks |
| 04.25.04 (6:39 pm) [edit] |
I think that there should be special compensation for the most unique search string entered that produces our blogs. Lynn has her "naked man in living room" sequence. While creative, I do believe I have her beat.
Someone found me after punching in "jiggling the liver".
That, after "shaving" AND " my girl". I think I deserve some sort of recognition for hitting on the weirdness of the universe.
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| A New Goal, and Another Clean Poodle |
| 04.24.04 (1:31 pm) [edit] |
My pal Claudia wants to go to the beach and watch the sunset. So she ORDERED me to hurry up and bathe Colin so that we could do that. I obeyed.
I am exhausted, and my back is killing me. But I have not one, but 2 clean and blow dryed poodles.
Then I checked the mail. Seems that there is another dog show - a poodle specialty no less. June 18th. Hmmmmm..... you KNOW how I like a challenge...... Can I possibly have Colin ready for his Obedience debut in EIGHT weeks????? If I meet this goal, it will be my 3rd dog titled and this would be the least amount of time spent training yet.
Colin's heeling is really bad. He is insecure on the stays. He won't stay in heel position. He does a good job on the recall some of the time. He has nice fronts. He does not really get the finish yet.
Can it be done???? I have until June 3rd to get the entry in. Now, if I enter BOTH dogs, I will have to have someone go in with me on the sit stay and down stay. I will have two dogs in the ring at the same time (another first for me). Who can I get to go to a dog show with me and go into the ring to stand and return to one of the puds.... hmmmm.... Who do I know in the Orlando area........ and WHERE could I possibly stay?????? Hmmmmm.....
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| Lacy's Bath and Haircut and Camp Susan - where bad poodles get Mohawks |
| 04.24.04 (9:00 am) [edit] |
Saturday noon and what have I done? Bathed and groomed one standard poodle. That is it. I began at 9 AM. Three hours and I have one clean, dry, coiffed dog.
One of my poodle pals has called me with the news that a silver mini needs our intervention. I don't know what I could possibly do, since I am stretched way too thin as things are. This dog apparently is acting up and biting an elderly man, terrorizing the other dogs, humping any and everything, and generally being a bad boy.
Karen thinks 6 weeks of Camp Susan could salvage him and make him available for placement in a family. Great that my friend thinks so highly of Camp Susan but I really don't have time. Then again, I hate to consider him being euthanized.....
But I can't save the world. But I could save one little dog. But when would I fit him into the training schedule. But what more is one more. BUT BUT BUT.
I will let the universe decide.
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| Watership Down, Fiver, Hrudurus, and more |
| 04.24.04 (6:18 am) [edit] |
Lynne's recent post about memory triggers triggered one for me.
I had a bunny named Fiver (the character in Watership Down) . At first, Fiver ran free in the house. He was pretty good about using a litter box. But he was very bad about chewing things. Little did I know that he was systematically eating the skirt off the back of my French Country couch. He also had a taste for elecitrical cord. He ate the insulation off the table lamp 5 or 6 times. Joseph replaced it.... and replaced it.... and finally built a condo for Fiver outside.
But then we got chickens. (Which reminds me of another story....). We built a little chicken coop behind the garage and let Fiver hang out with the girls. It was really cute. They were Buff Orpingtons, big red girls that layed big brown eggs. We also had two ducks. Saltine and Ritz because they were "quackers", don't you know.
Fiver was a busy little bunny. I thought it was really cute the way he would shovel sand with his back feet and then use his very macho male bunny ruff like a plow to push it away from the burrow. One day, Joseph decided to see just how deep the little tunnel was. He put a broom down there and could not reach bottom. Which would have been fine except the tunnel went UNDER the garage floor. Joseph ended up digging a human sized parallel hole adjacent to the cute little bunny tunnel to back fill it so that the car would not fall into the bunny sink hole under the garage. From that point, Fiver was a condo dweller. Fiver died of old age, a very well loved bunny.
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| I Cry at Extreme Makeovers |
| 04.21.04 (8:10 pm) [edit] |
Because I am so happy for the people courageous enough to try. I would LOVE to have an extreme makeover, once this trial is complete.
Maybe someday. I would have some serious dental work done. Some lasik surgery. Some of that laser hair removal.... other stuff.
I wouldn't even consider entering - because of the dogs. Who could explain my absence for 3 months to the dogs? But maybe I can do some of it for myself someday soon.
It is not like I want to be a professional cheerleader...
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| THE DANCE OF THE LIVER SHORTS |
| 04.21.04 (1:02 pm) [edit] |
It has come to my attention that some kind readers are finding some amusement at considering me dancing around jiggling my liver filled shorts.
I do not understand what can possibly be funny about a middle aged woman dancing around a poodle while 50 or so onlookers attempt to keep a straight face. What is SO funny????
OK, so the shorts have funky looking bulges in the pockets so that I can shotgun gizzards into aforementioned poodle. OK so I acknowledge that the Funky Chicken is part of the dance. That there is no music, no sound effects at all, and therefore, no rhythm.
There is a method to my madness. And that is, when she is in a stand stay, she needs to stay - period. No matter what the distraction, she must stay until I release her. So this is deliberately trying to get her to break with loads of distraction. If she can withstand the "dance of the liver shorts" - believe me, she gets liver shotgunned at her like crazy.
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| Lacy Goes to School |
| 04.20.04 (8:23 pm) [edit] |
On an aside:
Lacy and I go to dog school nearly every night. Tonight was our usual Tuesday. Since she has already accomplished her Companion Dog title (which I have neglected to mention to the condescending, pathetic, Irish Setter owning, self aggrandizing substitute instructor with attitude....but I digress....)
We are working on stuff to take us into Open. Open classes will begin in 5 weeks. They could start at any point but there is a schedule conflict. Lacy is enjoying her Agility classes.
So. I have to wear ugly shorts. Shorts with elastic waistbands and two pockets. The problem is that Lacy- on recalls- heads for where she knows the food is. Now, I have to keep both pockets filled with treats, and treat from both. That way when she comes toward me, she does not know from which pocket she might get reward. Sometimes, it might be tucked into the waistband.
I got to look very stoooopid for the humans tonight.
Lacy needs reinforcement on the stand stay. So I get to put her in a "stand stay" and then, dance around her like a fool on crack with a really bad case of body lice. Literally. Put your dog in a stay (standing) and do your very best worst Richard Simmons with a nose full of dope. You do the math. Return to your confused dog. Treat heavily. Love heavily.
Tonight's treat mix was: cheese chunks, chicken livers, dried beef liver.
Film at eleven. Ta ta for now.
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| National AdMin Day April 21st |
| 04.20.04 (8:13 pm) [edit] |
Perhaps boss will remember. He has in the past. To such a degree that he became nearly apoplectic because his wife was not up on the date.
The last time, he was quite generous. Gave me a nice check to do with what I wanted. I used it to buy beautiful fabric to back a very wonderful quilt that I made.That quilt is well loved.
If he doesn't remember, I won't mention it. I will try not to be hurt. After all, it is only since 1952 that "secretaries day" has existed. I am not a secretary. I am a paralegal, or administrative assistant, depending upon who is asked and what the day is.
I hope that he remembers... with a card if nothing else. But if he does not, I won't mention it. After all.... it is another "Hallmark holiday". Truth be told, he just gave me another raise a couple of weeks ago. A merit raise. That means way more than the forced march Hallmark holidays.. Wouldn't you think?
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| CHUTE! AND Tubbies and what not. |
| 04.19.04 (2:04 pm) [edit] |
My pal Richard made me a chute for the pups out of plywood that previously was my buja board in the living room. I will have to replace the buja piece with another one.
The chute is really solid and really cool. They are going through it pretty readily.
Colin got a big bath and haircut on Sunday. Saturday got eaten alive with the Chute manufacturing . ( I had to be there to describe what I needed and to ooooh and ahhh over the male of the species cutting wood with power tools.)
The morning was eaten up by spending time with Claudia at the downtown market. I will take photos next time and post them here. It is a cool place to be on Saturday mornings and I get my veggies and fruit there. It is way cheaper and better quality than the grocery.
Sunday was eaten up by grooming, sorting through a nasty drawer and a file of greeting cards and Colin's big tubbie. Then dinner and Tarot card reading for Carol and off to bed for me.
Tonight, Intro to Agility with the girl. I am off!. Ciao.
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| Touch! |
| 04.14.04 (6:32 pm) [edit] |
There is a new piece of furniture in my living room. A 4x4 square of plywood.
Its' purpose is ingenious. Imagine that someone is speaking to you in a foreign language, say Greek. In flawless Greek, they explain the concept behind a fulcrum and lever. Then they tell you to trust them enough to get on one and see what happens. All will be fine! They say. Except you don't speak a word of Greek.
So I am asking my dogs now to step aboard a teeter board and run across. They must contact on both ends in the "safe zone". They must not go off the side when it teeters down.
How do you do that?
The board on the floor in my living room (sidebar - one more thing, and there won't be room for dust.)
You wad up a towel, or a small pillow under the center of the board. Toss a bunch of treats on the center of the board. Initially, hold down an edge. Lock up all the other dogs. Be sure that the dog doesn't step on one edge with a paw beneath. This is a sensitive moment in training that could result in a fear that would be very difficult to alleviate.
When puppy goes on the board, you say "touch". When they get the treat, happy birthday praise! Gradually, you let the foot off the edge and the board begins to move with the weight of the dog. It is an insecure moment for puppy.
Treat lavishly when they get it right.
As time goes by, the towel or pillow can be replaced with a tennis ball and in the future, a partially deflated play ball. All in baby steps. It is way easier to do it that way than to fix major problems.
And that, my friends, is how to start the teeter.
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| New Goal - New Contest - New Direction |
| 04.12.04 (7:32 pm) [edit] |
I have a habit of creating and writing down both long and short term goals. It is a habit that has served me well over the years.
It gives me satisfaction to see the goals that I have accomplished.
Recently, I have been questioning where I am headed, what direction I should head in. I have been floundering. Mostly, I believe, because this trial looms above me every second of every day. The trial has had a detrimental effect on my grieving process. I have been denied closure.
I have become resigned to the fact that it is out of my hands. My lawyers and expert witnesses and the dockets of the judges get to call the shots. I am but the original cog in the wheel.
To sit idly by, while waiting for judgment, would be an anathema to my darling. I do him a great disservice if I just wait for the outcome. That is why the Lacy companion dog title is so important.
The end result of the trial will be the same whether I am playing a passive or active role in my life. To sit around isolated, focused on the microcosm, will indeed endanger the outcome.
My job, between now and whenever I am called upon to testify, is to continue to grow and preserve my strength. I cannot do that in a vacuum.
I have reviewed our lives together. Since my darling died, I have spent considerable time away from the world of dog sports for a variety of reasons, but my (our) passions for that kept surfacing.
And now - I have returned to do things I previously had not completed. I have taken a puppy from 8 weeks old to champion of record. Now I have this champion nearly ready to earn his first title in obedience. He is a different thing, a boy, stubborn, reluctant to sit on his "man berries". I will find what makes him want to turn inside out to please me. He will have his "aha" moment.
I have taken my second girl to a title in obedience and am working her both in Agility (quite successfully I might add) and her advanced obedience titles.
And now, this evening, I have determined where I go from here. I have a new goal. I won't publicize it here. Suffice it to say that it is doable, profitable, and mine alone. I am very excited. It will encompass all that I do well. Write and dogs and dog sport. You do the math.
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| Companion Dog - Another Goal Achieved, Another Accomplishement To Add to the List |
| 04.11.04 (4:40 pm) [edit] |
Lacy finished the weekend by changing her name. From this point forward, because of her performance today, she will be - Picadillys Black Lace Teddy, C.D.
C.D. is the title for Companion Dog. It means that she successfully completed a series of exercises gaining a score of 170+ out of a possible perfect score of 200, on 3 occassions under three different judges.
The exercises are: heel on lead - the judge calls a pattern which includes changes in pace and direction. The dog and handler must perform the pattern without the dog forging ahead or lagging behind.
Figure 8 - 2 stewards enter the ring, stand 8 feet apart. The dog and handler must heel in a figure 8 around the two "posts" - note - the reason that this is tricky is that on the inside, the dog must slow its pace, yet be speedy on the outside. Way more complicated than it might seem.
Stand for exam- The dog is sitting beside you, off lead. The judge directs you to "stand your dog" . You signal your dog to stand, and leave your dog (in an arena full of applauding strangers, other dogs, weird smells, assorted other sundry distractions, and the stress of showing). You walk away from your dog, approximately 6 feet and face the dog. The judge (a total stranger) then approaches your dog, and touches it on the head, shoulders, and rump. Then you return.
Heel free- Same as heeling pattern, but off lead. (SCARY)
Recall - Sit your dog, leave your dog, cross the ring, Wait for judges signal. Call your dog. Your dog is to come straight across the ring (regardless of the cheering, dumbell tossing activity 30 feet away) and sit in front of you at a distance that would allow you to reach out and touch him/her. At the judges signal, you direct your dog to "return" to heel position.
Long sits and downs - the longest 4 minutes of any obedience person's life. Also stressful for the dogs. The dogs are lined up along one wall of the ring - judges discretion, could be a back wall (oh blessings!) could be the way it was today, placing MY dog within a short space of a public walkway. You place your lead and armband behind your dog, and direct your dog to sit. Then the judge says "leave your dog". We walk together across the ring. The sit is one minute. You are watching a spot above your dog's head. Inside your head, you are counting to one minute using the 1 one thousand, two one thousand, etc. If your dog gets up, lays down, bothers another dog, it is disqualified. You could go into this with a perfect score, and your dog can blow it if the door slamming across the way spooks him or her. Finally after 45 minutes (okay, it is only one, but I assure you....) the judge says "return " and you do.
Only to scratch her chest and whisper "good job!" before you are directed to "down your dog" and you get to repeat for THREE very long and interminable minutes.
The second place winner from yesterday broke the sit stay today. Every day is a different dog show, a different end result.
My girl came through for me in fine style. No, we did not place in the top 4. We did achieve much. She is now a Companion Dog of record. She is my second to be titled that way. Colin is my first champion of record, although not the first dog that I have shown.
I am proud of my Lacy, and proud of me. When I was in that ring - I endeavored to remember that if I put my money where my mouth is: I would be smiling. I state that this is my passion. If that is the case, then I want to be in the moment. I was in the moment today. I was conscious of my dog every moment. I was cognizant of the presence of my husband. My darling husband, who for years was my biggest fan, and my wonderful assistant both in and out of the ring. He was very there today in a very different form. My sister filled in as fan club president and assistant. She did a fine job.
Lacy and I move on to new territory in the form of Agility and Companion Dog Excellent (CDX). Colin takes up the challenge to be my third Companion dog and my first to be titled at both ends.
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| Lacy Earned her Second Leg Toward CD |
| 04.10.04 (12:34 pm) [edit] |
We did it! Two down, one to go. Tomorrow, if all goes as planned, Lacy becomes "Picadillys Black Lace Teddy, C.D."
She was wonderful.
I was very happy.
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| Sidebar - COLIN and the Tunnel |
| 04.08.04 (6:52 pm) [edit] |
On Wednesdays, Colin and I have the best instructor in the universe. Except that she embarrasses me by pointing out the things that we do, drawing attention upon us. Hey, I am just training my dog.
At the end of class, in a stroke of brilliance, this instructor will frequently add a dose of fun in the form of introducing an agility exercise.
She brought out the Tunnel. The way to introduce dog to tunnel is to make the tunnel as short as possible. Then mom/dad go to the opposite end and call puppy through with treats while instructor holds puppy at the other end.
I had my big butt up in the air. Poised IN the tunnel, bit of beef steak in hand. Boy dog was having NO part of it. I said to instructor " shove him through" She did.
Of course, I was all over him, making him think that he split an atom.
He watched a few more dogs go through. Second time around, he went through gleefully, stepped out prancing as if to announce to the world that the whole tunnel concept had been "his" idea..
We did "TUNNEL" another 6 or 7 times. He thinks he is all that AND a ham sammich.
Boy dogs are arrogant.
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| SHOCKED and APPALLED! Yet somehow... entered |
| 04.08.04 (6:43 pm) [edit] |
They say if you don't like the weather in Florida, wait 15 minutes. Nothing this week has happened the way I had in mind. It reinforces my belief that I am but a grain of sand in a plan too enormous to comprehend.
I thought that I would be going to trial next Monday. When that was once again delayed - this time to November - I realized that I could enter a show in Orlando for this weekend.
There are two different closing dates listed. I was unsure, and as a result, spent an additional $13.65 to send my entry via overnight USPS. It is a very good thing.
The show secretary did not plan on the car careening toward her that resulted in two broken ankles. She is recovering with a cheerful countenance in a nursing facility. Her mail was forwarded to a friend..... who missplaced my entry. But, since I have proof of service, I am in. I am grateful for the people who could have said it was too much trouble. They went the extra mile. Many of us could learn a lesson in customer service from the likes of dog show secretaries and their staff.
I have spent the evening packing, cleaning, shaving toes, and worrying that my shocked and appalled girl will fail to deliver. We have come so very far. I am concerned that entering grounds that may be similar to dog school that she might not do the recall......
Every dog has its issues. My Jasmine could not tolerate the smell of teenage boys or clipboards. She felt fearful about hats.
My Lacy, the recall is an issue. Standing in the sidewalk in front of her home? Oh how she runs to greet me- in a Happy Birthday way! Now that she was shocked at school THREE times?
For those who have followed the Lacy saga.... remember that her first qualifying ribbon, graciously and generously awarded, with a recall that was like a shopping expedition to a WalMart Super Store. Like it took DAYS.
Wish us much luck. Please. We IMPLORE you.
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| Static Electricity has ruined my Dog |
| 04.06.04 (8:13 pm) [edit] |
I feel a bad moon rising. We went to dog school tonight to experience another shocking development.
I stopped on the way to buy a can of spray conditioner. I sprayed the girl. We went into the building, on the agility side. I want her to get used to the noise of the teeter totter rocking.
I touched her. ZAP! She panicked.
I asked for help from those more experienced. FINALLY I got to the bottom of this. They have those plastic (pvc) chairs. When I scoot my butt out of the chair, it builds up the static. If I don't touch metal, and touch my dog, she and I get shocked.
She wanted to be in Tahiti tonight. She is afraid of me. I have to work through this.
Like I don't have enough other stuff ....
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| Shocking Developments, Lawyers, A-frames and Cell Dogs |
| 04.05.04 (5:49 pm) [edit] |
Today I spoke with my psychotic attorney again. I had a miserable weekend, and had to get to the meat of the issues. I did not want to speak to her. I sent a fax. She called anyway. I was sobbing nearly uncontrollably. I mean, to have your OWN attorney threaten to quit representing you if you made a change at this stage of the game is just cruel. After all the nasty things she said to me on Friday, I would have thought that knowing how upsetting it was, she would have apologized. No such luck. That is alright. I know I took the high ground and when this is over, I am going to be able to say that phrase that the Donald so enjoys.
Tonight was the first night for Lacy and I to do Agility. I was very looking forward to it. But something really bizarre nearly took the fun out of it for both of us. Lacy was bathed and groomed on Saturday. So her hair is nearly oil free. It has been very dry lately. Imagine my dismay when I reached down to pet her and when we touched, she got shocked with static electricity. Not once was bad enough! TWICE! She wanted to get as far away from me as possible. Note to self. Spray some of that conditioning oil in her hair later.
So we did Very well on the jump portion - kind of an alley set up with 3 jumps. She quickly took to the game and realized that there was a cookie at both ends of the jump run.
The A- Frame was good. We did the ladder several times. It is just walking through a ladder to teach paw eye coordination. We did chute and tunnel. She is quite familiar with tunnel. I need to go get some at Target or Home Depot.
And now it is time for CELL Dogs! Sing with me! A Cell Dog is your Best Friend, A cell dog is your best friend. In your darkest hour they'll be your guiding light. A cell dog is your best freind. Help me now!
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| My Brother Lives on in infamy |
| 04.03.04 (6:29 pm) [edit] |
My brother died when I was 16 years old. He was almost 21. Not quite. There remain unanswered questions about his death, perhaps it was suicide. Perhaps assisted.
He is - some 30 years later, still with me. My boss reminds me of him every day. My sister , who has met boss, wonders aloud how any thinking person could Not see the parallels... she wonders at my sanity for working with boss at all. But we all agree that the cosmos made us do it.
My brother, my friend, my mentor, my so important that there is not a name for it: came to me nearly a year after his untimely demise. Sat on the edge of my bed. Stroked my back. The amount of energy expended must have been enormous. I remain convinced that it was him.
My brother - Gary.
I love him. I miss him.
1/03/1952 - 11/12/1973
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| Ghosts Diving in my Pool. Film at Eleven. |
| 04.02.04 (7:04 pm) [edit] |
In the past 5 minutes, with the back door open, I heard a noise that sounded like someone falling or diving into the pool. I did a quick nose count. All present and accounted for. All paws on deck.
I am not dreaming this up. I heard a large splash. Large enough to make me check. There is no one there of this mortal plane.
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| More Lavender for Lavender |
| 04.02.04 (6:49 pm) [edit] |
Lavender - The Lyrics
I was walking in the park dreaming of a spark
When I heard the sprinklers whisper,
Shimmer in the haze of summer lawns.
Then I heard the children singing,
They were running through the rainbows.
They were singing a song for you.
Well it seemed to be a song for you,
The one I wanted to write for you, for you, you.
Lavenders blue, dilly dilly, lavenders green,
When I am King, dilly dilly,
You will be Queen.
A penny for your thoughts my dear,
A penny for your thoughts my dear,
I.O.U. for your love, I.O.U. for your love.
Lavenders green, dilly dilly, lavenders blue.
When you love me, dilly dilly, I will love you.
A penny for your thoughts my dear,
A penny for your thoughts my dear,
I.O.U. for your love, I.O.U. for your love.
Lavender dreams dilly, dilly lavender true,
When you miss me dilly dilly, I did miss you
A penny for your thoughts my dear
A Penny for your thoughts my dear
I.O.U for your love, I.O.U. for your love
For your love, for your love, for your love
Oh, I gotta find my way back to you
Gotta find my way back to you
For your love, for your love, for your love
I'm always walking in the park
Always dreaming of a spark
From you...
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| Lavendar for Lavendar |
| 04.02.04 (6:42 pm) [edit] |
Lavendar’s blue, dilly dilly
Lavendar’s green
When I am King, dilly dilly
You shall be Queen
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| How Can a Day that Opened with SUCH Promise end up so BAD???? |
| 04.02.04 (3:53 pm) [edit] |
When I arrived at work this morning, I went in to deliver stuff to boss and get my stuff out of the bin. In the bin, at the crack of dawn.... was my paycheck. Well, my paycheck with a big fat increase of a dollar an hour.
I was, needless to say, quite happy. That lasted about a half hour before the phone rang. It was MY attorney who proceeded to chew me out in such incredible rudeness that I was speechless. AND it was uncalled for, unprofessional, and totally inappropriate. I kept saying I don't believe that you are speaking to me like this. And she just kept bringing it on.
What had happened was this: the attorney that is handling the probate is not doing a good job of it. This I know because I have looked at the docket. I went to boss and told him what was up to be sure I was right. I was right. So I spoke with other attorney recently and SHE SUGGESTED that since we do probate, that I bring the case over to our firm.
So I talked to boss. He said do it. I prepared the docs and mailed them to the other attorney. Which apparently pissed her off. She called my attorney for the civil action, who called me and just went up one side of me and down the other. Replete with statements like "that was underhanded and you had no right to do it". Excuse me? I have no right to move my husband's probate case? I have no right to do what?
It got really bad. I told her I was ending the conversation and I hung up. An hour later she called back with a repetition of the same load of crap but with a new message. The "message" was that if I pull the case from the probate attorney that they chose, that they will abandon my case.
And how I would love to fire both of them. Have wanted to for ages. Would really enjoy that. But, I cannot, because if I do, or if they decide to leave the case, then they will put a lein against it and tie up the money forever.
So I am really furious. I am so frustrated that I am nearly comotose. I am disappointed that some lunatic can cause such physical pain to me with words. Sticks and stones indeed.
And the real truth is that they have beaten me up so badly that I am tempted to tell them to walk and give up the whole thing. It is bad enough that I have endured the huge loss. It is bad enough to consider that the opposing counsel is out to get me. But the reality is that the contempt my own counsel feels for me came shining through her voice. And the fact that my emotional state is dependent upon what this psychopath says to me on any given day. I don't know how much more of this I can take.
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